Noise.

I love sounds. Except when there is too much noise.

No Control.

As I sit here squeezing the vain bulging out of my foot, I ponder on how I have taken on this maternal role. It is so out of character for me. It has been a little over a year since my mother had a heart attack and stroke. I think I held my breath the first few months, not daring to breathe. Then I eased up on myself realizing that I really had no control at all. 'Whatever will be will be' someone once said. How true. Tonight my mama isn't feeling so well and every bad thought has rushed through my mind. Not so long ago my mother and I did not have much of a relationship and now she means the world to me. I just want to hug her and tell her everything will be fine. I want her to be around for many more moons. Hopefully I don't pop this vain in my foot and I will too.....

beginnings

she ran and ran and ran.

torn, stained dress. her favorite.

smeared dirt crawling up her legs.

matted hair upon her neck.

lustful days of beginnings.

Taken for granted....

In the most simplest form,




the impact should be lasting

but
rarely is.

Just Be Still.

The Story.

I want a story that works just the way it is. I will always be one of the silly girls. Most likely, I will never see it coming. It is better to live this way. For me at least. I can't force anything, You,Me, We just need to be allowed our own paths. If it is more freeing for you to walk off of my pages then as much as it may hurt me, you must do it. I can't let you drown just so I may breathe. And then again maybe you will see that I am your story to tell. One can only wait to flip the page and see what happens next. I truly hope for a beautiful ending. Either way this is just one chapter in our story. There will be more.

Lessons.

You continuously kick my feet out from underneath me.Beg me to learn some mind-blowing lesson.As I watch the blood trickle down my legs,I continue to kneel.There is broken glass under my flesh.You advise me to rework the glass and flesh into a new masterpiece.I pause as I chase after my breath.You are right.I know this craft much to well.And I will scoop up the remnants of my tangible soul,slowly standing,wading through this lesson.