Serenity.

Sitting out on the porch listening to the waves and eating my raisin bran cereal with soy milk has been the most wonderful peaceful thing that I have experianced in the last couple of weeks here in Maine. When everything around me seems so chaotic and I feel like I can't breathe anymore, this is just what I need......



......A moment of serenity.

Stuck............

I hear you.

I really do

But it doesn't change the fact

That I am stuck right where I am.

Do you ever........

...........feel like you drank so much that even your toes are drunk???


Tonight I saw the ghost of my ex-lover. I sat and talked with him but it just wasn't the same. I, being so different with the blink of an eye. It never can be the same. You aren't even a good replacement. I guess i'll always have peppermints and beer.

Tripping down memory lane.....

I have been browsing through old photos today. I have so many other things I should be doing but I can't tear myself away from these visions of the past.....



Puerto Rico circa 2003


Reelfoot Lake Tennessee circa 2001

Putting it all in Perspective.

It's weird how one evening I can be watching an old Judy Garland movie with my mother and the next morning she can be having a heart attack. Things have gotten pretty surreal around here this week. I read somewhere that most people have heart attacks on Mondays. Not in my mother's case. This past Sunday my mother who is just a mere 53 years old had a heart attack and then once at the hospital she suffered a stroke. It is 1:26 am on Thursday and I am sitting here in the ICU typing and listening to my mother moan in her sleep. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason but I sit here in confusion. Maybe I shouldn't think about it to much, it will just make me more crazy. And nobody needs me to be any crazier, that's for sure. Puts a lot of stuff in perspective though....

Is it sick that I have to document everything......

To Do List.

Drink a beer.
Get laid.
Smoke a cigarette.

waiting.

i wait
for you
but it's
not
what you
think.