No Control.

As I sit here squeezing the vain bulging out of my foot, I ponder on how I have taken on this maternal role. It is so out of character for me. It has been a little over a year since my mother had a heart attack and stroke. I think I held my breath the first few months, not daring to breathe. Then I eased up on myself realizing that I really had no control at all. 'Whatever will be will be' someone once said. How true. Tonight my mama isn't feeling so well and every bad thought has rushed through my mind. Not so long ago my mother and I did not have much of a relationship and now she means the world to me. I just want to hug her and tell her everything will be fine. I want her to be around for many more moons. Hopefully I don't pop this vain in my foot and I will too.....